November 19, 2019

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Five Steps on how NOT to be a Carnival Groupie

Five Steps on how NOT to be a Carnival Groupie

There is nothing sadder, and admittedly pathetically shameful, than watching another woman openly throw herself behind soca artistes and celebrities with the hope of making  herself the object of their desire. This being done regardless of the said artiste’s relationship status or reputation for being a known lothario with a harem of women , all willing to sacrifice dignity to claim a “special friendship”

Girl friend, I think the only thing worse than having gained a reputation as a serial  “groupie” is operating in the realm of delusion, that makes it hard to come to the realization that at best you were the flavor of the night and at worst the man does not WANT you. It is embarrassing (I feel embarrassed for you) when everyone has a story to tell where they have witnessed such demonstrations in public of  you being shunned and discarded.

It is 2018, let’s get it together as strong,intelligent, beautiful , independent women and regain some dignity rather than chase celebrities.


  1. Be a fan not a “friend” – There are many artistes that we are fans of – we love their talent, their ability to move us in a fete and the energy they bring to their performances. Most of these artistes are very charismatic and can turn on the charm to make you feel “special” when attention is focused on you. Understand that true “friendship” in the celebrity world is reserved for persons who have a close and intimate relationship, the partner who has his back from day one for example or the woman who is his rock and salvation. You may be cute, however you are just an acquaintance whose real name he has  to be reminded of.
  2. Value yourself more than a backstage pass – This is especially important to remember if the artiste you are crushing  on has a relationship with a significant other that is known to the public. While you are getting giddy off the high of being invited backstage, the brutal truth is that you are not the first or will be the last attractive woman to have been offered that invite. You should be smart enough to realize then, that if the man does not respect his relationship he will have zero respect for you. Your self worth is more than just a notch on a bedpost.
  3. Own your “ho” status like a champ – My judgement call is not about sexually liberated women who choose to indulge in the freedom that our sisters fought for during the sexual revolution in the 60s, do you girl. Just don’t do EVERYONE in the same  Carnival social and musical circle and be a hypocrite about it!   While in public you look down at other sexually liberated women, we all know that you can’t have so many “friends” and be so “friendly” with everyone backstage. This isn’t Miss Congeniality. Level up. I am also positive that I do not have to give a lecture on STIs and STDs, protect your sexual health like you would do your heart baby girl.
  4. Lust is not love –  Do not be surprised when  your ” good friend” never shows up to your birthday dinner or gives you a special shout out on their social media. Did you really think that you would be claimed in public, or  that he would give your “relationship” any validation ? Honey, sit down let me explain how this works to you. You is kind, you is smart, you is important do not let a man take you for a damn fool!
  5. It is never too late to retire –  Be cognizant of when your time is up and how to exit the groupie game gracefully. After relying on your body and looks to get you into the inner circle, there comes a time when sadly  you will no longer be able to trade on those attributes; there is always someone fresher, younger and hotter who will attract the attention of men who like the thrill of the hunt. When offering yourself on a silver platter no longer works find a nice guy who isn’t aware of your groupie past, change your life and settle down. Love is out there and you can find it, just not with a celebrity who treats you like a pin-cushion.

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